We all know the things you SHOULD say to a bride and groom or their family and friends on a wedding day. "Congrats" .... "You look beautiful".... "What a beautiful couple".... "Happy Wife, happy life".... the list goes on!
But - I feel like it wouldn't hurt to remind people what's NOT okay to say on a wedding day. Sometimes, some things are out of bounds. These are just a starting guideline.... if it's not on the list and you're questioning what you're about to say... don't say it! Use your discretion!
- We all know that famous one line in SITC that (I strongly believe) ruined everything for Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big.... When Miranda said "You two are crazy to get married. Marriage ruins everything". - Sometimes we're going through our own relationship dramas and resent love and marriage, and usually it's pretty temporary.... so do your damndest to hold that sh*t in! Don't share your personal resentment towards love and marriage with the happy couple moments before they walk down the aisle. Please, don't!
- Do not say 'Are you sure?!' .... If you strongly feel that this is a question to ask someone you know who is engaged... ask it when they get engaged.... ask it when you're having girl or bro time planning the wedding, or during bachelor party time....no one is stopping you from being a friend... but again, please do NOT utter these words moments before the couple walks down the aisle.
- Refrain from telling one half of the couple getting married that you're in love with them.... again, timing is everything. Do NOT tell them moments before they walk down the aisle. You had time to get this off your chest WAY before then... impulse decisions don't often have the best results. Maybe you'll get the same response and run off into the sunset. Or not. If you do run off into the sunset, it could just be an emotional response caught up in the moment, and not truly thought through. Nonetheless, you'll confront a LOT of unhappy people. You'll break someone's heart during the most important time of their life. AND, conversely if you get rejected... you'll feel like an idiot and likely want to avoid this couple for the rest of your life.
- Do NOT feel inclined to tell one half of the couple that you slept with the other half of the couple. If they didn't know before... now is NOT the time! Just don't do it.
- A bride (or groom) wants to be the most beautiful version of herself/himself EVER on her wedding day. Do NOT low-blow them! Don't say 'oh that's what you're doing with your hair?' or 'oh THAT'S the dress you chose? - why not the other one?' or 'You seem to have gained a little weight since your last fitting'. Warning: Should you do this... you could end up in Mortal Kombat!
- Dear all attendees, toast and speech makers, family and friends... do NOT tell the couple both face-to-face or over a mic... that you thought they'd end up with their ex because they were perfect together. That's a thought you just keep to yourself. It's a matter of opinion and one that doesn't need to be referenced on the day of their wedding.
- Dear brides-and-grooms-to-be, do NOT say your ex's name when saying your vows... or at ANY other point during the wedding day.
- To guests, self-proclaimed wedding planners, and married 'experts'... do NOT tell the bride (and groom, but mostly bride) what they SHOULD HAVE done on the wedding day. Ex. 'You should've used roses instead of peonies' or 'you should've done 3-tier cake not 2-tier.' It's just an a**hole move - especially given the fact that it's a little too late to do anything about it now... and you're making the bride (and groom, but mostly the bride) feel like her wedding wasn't sufficient enough on a day when it's supposed to be the most special.
I'm sure the list could go on and on... but here's some good talking points to avoid, if you will.
Feel free to share your own 'don't say it' words of wisdom!